Soothing relief

It is a thought I am in that almost seems like reality. But the content of the thought is reality. THEwriter's mind is lost in this near-unexplainable situation. It feels, seems and looks like a 'heart-door' scenario. It feels like your heart has some sought of door and magnetic force that is pulling and consuming me. The mental image paints a picture of a man that has THEwriter's physique 'falling' into a door, or a room, or an opening which is undoubtedly your Heart. Bubu I see I am been helplessly consumed and swallowed-up; then I watch myself struggling to enter that heart of yours that has some sought of door, or opening. The feeling is difficult to put together in writing. Understand THEwriter is not experiencing a mental situation of having had a fall, and seen or viewed remaining on the ground; no, it has a picture of a continuous fall, or struggle to maintain balance to stand and walk. The man takes a form or shape of a walking Homo sapien. Like strength is insufficient and I am still falling each second I think of you while am still attempting to walk through to my home(Your heart). It draws a picture of my weakness before your person, like a servant before his Queen, also of my constant fear when the thought of losing you infiltrate my head.  

Baby I will never gain the energy to withstand a situation without you. I will never attempt to initiate the process of a debate of leaving or disposing the office of your boyfriend; Cos if I attempt to, Doom will consume me, and even if nature forgives my wrongs, where will I go to? Who is out there waiting to accept me again? Why should I remain blind over the long, sad and unhappy moments I experienced in that sorrowful life I lived during that period without you? Why should I leave you? #Ajuju. My heart softens at the sound of your voice, my blood pumps up when there is an issue with high potential level of causing a divide between us, which might lead to some undesirable consequences. As I type my heart is pounding, the air supply into my nostrils are shortening and limiting. I am gasping for oxygen.  

Your name is frequent on my lips, especially my lower lip, even in your absence, your name is quick to be mentioned to address male or female in all my conversations; means your matters and issues reside in my heart, as the abundance of the heart forces the mouth to reveal.

Baby your person gives me a kind of feeling I cannot decipher, not enigmatic, but surely indescribable. In fact even the 26 letters of the English alphabetical order cannot put together any form of sense or reason to express my inner self.   If I leave you, "The curse words of my mouth will take effect, and my verbal pronunciations will be set in motion which will definitely lead to internal anarchy and total devastation of THEwriter's persona."  

I love you like Mad.  

Thank You

@pokesville