MEANWHILE

In the meantime,while my soul was in recess, and un-rather strangely too, i found me thinking of you more times. Every time I just get a click in my head, however slight, my senses arrive speedily beside you, all images begin to take your form, sometimes just a little, but some other times it appears really visibly, physically you. Sounds like a joke, but this is my thought that you cannot see, apparently my face don’t wear it. Whythen should I lie?

I tore all the pictures, all of them, I couldn’t handle it. However, I regret I did. Afterwards, I realized I tore all of you I’d have held on to. Ok, particularly that one you wore a brown sweater, that one you had a peace-sign we took during trade fair; I miss that one the most. But I couldn’t stand seeing your face after all that ensued, and all you uttered.

Yes, I was a jerk, but how jerky should I have been when He said He kissed you, you said pecked, I insisted kissed, because there was contact, you said whatever, I asked not to be disrespected, you said am jealous, I said stuff, you got angry, I got mad. POW!!! red-eye; I use to convince myself I don’t need you in my life no more; that’s not entirely true, my current thoughts entirely disagree.

That’s how every time I call you; it’s a girl on the other side. Sometimes they are laughing, and screaming, meaning you are having a good time. That last slut hung up on me, and when I talk, you say its nag, that I am just jealous; who wouldn’t. Well, I guess that’s why I tore those pictures; painful part is,my mom bought two of those sweaters, one for my Dad, the other for you. That’s your image I constantly see in my head.

I know you hate me right now; I guess you’ll always do. I hear you talking with your mom all the time, and how you both talk for long hours. I realize you don’t even ask about me, how my health is faring. You don’t even care about my business. Deeper in me, I hope you care. It’s been three weeks since you left for the semester, and we’ve not spoken; not a word. You don’t understand I was your age thirty years ago. I have to instil some discipline, like your Granny did me. This entire struggle is for you, Tola, and Rotimi. I hope one day you’ll realize.

You feel say I get, but I no wan help you abi? You feel say cash de but I just wan stingy abi? Na there you lie, I no hold cash dat day, even my t.pbeen no sure, I no fit talk; na shameful thing, at my age no t.p. You just de bo-bo, you just de loud, you just de shout, you de so comfortable de displayjonzing. You no sabi my plans for you, na why. No be everything mouth go spill. I hate say we fall-out; I still miss my Padi.

I don’t know why, but am thinking of you plenty lately; I starting to think nature want us together again. I would not hold back any longer, I refuse to let conceit make the most of me. it’s like am losing it. My heart desires your presence, there is increasing need to hold your hand, and feel them lips.

This period apart allowed me realize I miss you.

Thank You.